just straight forward stupid reality !

so went to Paris with the school and had a ball but not with the people i thought i would have a ball with. my world was shaken a little when i discovered some new paths which have now become best friends though those paths have always been there before and i had even looked at them before and although i had walked down them a little i had never stopped and properly looked at them looked at there shape or there paving that defined who they were ,what they had been through and what they believed in . I'm not saying now i know every little detail about them and I'm not saying i now have walked all over them ,, what I'm saying is that they have made me see things differently and have made me move on in good and kinda harsh ways .......... things have been different since Paris! i have changed my out look on life a lil , bu that's for another time .
on Monday kittykat , jeules ,  jreal, the bIZness , ms.cool , and codey came to my house which was a lil awkward at first but we all mellowed after a while :) especially between jreal texting other peoples mothers proclaiming her gay lovers name and kittykat getting it on with pieces of cucumber , and me well i got raped by a fire place because of jeules and codey .
relationship wise some parts of me think i did the right thing and then when i hear a song or see a picture i begin to question my decision but am reassured by friends especially an unexpected one that i made the right decision . so now here is a new question i gave my heart to someone for a year but now I'm not sure who owns it , some pieces of it are forever lost with people in good and bad ways . i think for a little while id just like to play with fire and be completely free of stuff like nonsense and immaturity unless its kittykat or ms.cool being immature cause its just hilarious if there the ones being immature in a good way . 
i think I've learned more since Paris than since September last year i think. i found or heard a quote which i have now realised is true   "everybody dies but not everybody lives"   . i think now with my new and some old friends I'm going to be one of the lucky people that lives , loves and laughs :)
p.s if any of the people in this blog think I'm making them out to be hero's and they think I'm bluffing , I'm not i am truly thank full for keeping me sane and helping me make choices and most importantly making me laugh ... x x
i'll blog again sooner than last time , bye for now :)